make my dreams come true

Monday, December 12, 2005

Talked to jeslyn for a lil while. She made me felt damn emotional. A sudden gushed of emotions just seemed to be released.

I dont wanna rushed you into doing wad u had promised me to do.
I just dont wish to know that
during this coming festive season
i have to share the man i love with another person.

The feeling sucks. TERRIBLY. =)

I have waited 14 months for you. So what's another 14 months right?

I do feel fortunate that u havent left me, and i thank god for that. Like i've said, i aint rushing you.
But i just want you to know, that every single day i still feel this way, every single day i feel more heartbreak.

Jes's back with her boy. goodness gracious, she's a happy woman now. All thanks to a friend they had "trusted".. Betrayal is always one of the worst thing that can happen to anybody. IT suddenly reminds me of HARRY POTTER. James and Lily Potter betrayed by Peter Pettigrew. Oh that sucker who went over to Lord Voldermort.

Yea like i was saying. I had been betrayed too many a times. More den u guys can ever imagine. I immuned to it. And trust me, the feeling sucks when the person u had so trusted, so willingly trusted just betrayed you.

IT doesnt just causes a heartbreak. It causes a part of you to vanish. And with every betrayal comes a lesson learnt. Yet somehow, i still choose to trust people as much. Trust that they will not betray me.

Trust is never easy. You need to give and take. You wan somebody to trust you, u show ur trust for the other party. I have trusted you. I might behave like i dont. But there had been many times when i hadn't question you about alot of things.

But u took my heart and ripped it apart. literally.

The feeling is worse than having your head blown up.
More painful than having ur heart digged out.
More excruitiating than pouring concentrated acid over your bare skin.

*suddenly i wonder why i didnt do well for my english compo.

I dont know what has caused me to act this way. Maybe its because i couldnt see my future without this man. I had been able to see me and my previous ex(s) breaking up. But i had been unable to see what lies in my road ahead without him. In fact, i cant even see any road without him.

My brain suddenly becomes very dusty. I need to rest.

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