make my dreams come true

Friday, November 25, 2005

lots of meetings and rushing today. Rushed out to the stupid OCBC bank to banked in the cash. Rushed to woodlands station to meet Joa to pass her the Half Blood Prince. Rushed down to Dhoby Ghaut to meet yong ming and den off to meridien to pass boss the receipt and collect my pay.

SHe is one hell of a fickle minded woman.

Anyways, helped out a lil to lighten their work load. I still think im a terrific multi-tasker.
Stayed for around an hour or so before leaving with immelia and her friend ( surianti). Headed to FOS with Imm and Su.

And den bought new shades while on our way to somerset. Correction. They bought shades. i bought glasses.


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the pics were taken at home because i didnt have the urge to take pics when im out. YES YES yellow yellow dirty fellow.

They bought decided i looked best in the yellow one. comapared to the red and blue. My final choices were red and yellow. Yellow - his car. Red - his fav color. CAn it get any better. O.O

Now i have yellow emo glasses. *cheers

Hereen was nonetheless ever so boring. As you grow older, hereen becomes more boring. *nods

Went to my favourite hat/cap shop. And tried on my fav hat.

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micheal jackson or alicai keys. u decide. YES the fatter version of cuz.

oh and mister yongming said i lost weight. LOL and its been MONTHS since he last saw me.
=) i am a happy girl.

Took this pic in the toilet where we had almost jammed up the place cause the people cant walk past us. LOL

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I BOUGHT A NEW NOSE STUD. actually 2 new ones. cause my previous crystal nose stud, the crystal dropped out. how unfortunate.

i love my new yellow glasses. Su is a lovely girl too. LOL listening to me and imm's bimbotic talks. LOL

CAbbed home cause my stupid pointies were giving me terrible blisters. Oh did i mentioned that i didnt have dinner again? LOL

Let's see. We and immelia were supposed to share this taiwan XXL chicken thingy. So we bought it and started eating. And we both only ate half of the serving and we threw it away. LOL

Meaning i only ate 1/4 of the serving. LOL

and i saw my primary school classmates today. Miss Fionetter Yeow. Of which we had stood beside each other and not realised until i moved. LOL

and miss LEE BO YING whom had called my name and i turned around, looked at her 2 friends and found them unfamilar and have her screaming : "I CALLED U LA".

Sometimes i am blind. O.O

Baby loving you
Comes easily to me =)

Im nice not cause ive anything up my sleeves.
I just didnt wanna be the bimbotic, act stupid, act immature, act nonsensical girl in front of you no more. The me you see, is the me i am. The me i will be and the me that u haven seen.

Dont be alarm, Im not cursing her deep in my heart. Im not cursing anybody. Im not saying bad things about her behind ur back. Im not telling my friends how disgusted i am. In fact, i have been asking for understanding from them. Understanding that no matter what u do, i will forgive you. Understand that as long as im around, i will not allow them to hurt u in any manner.

After my death, i cant say anything of this sort. They have the right to do wad they want to you once im dead. Im not saying im going to kill myself now. Cause im not, but suicide is always on the back of my mind and i can assure u that.

Im not indirectly asking you to do my bidding now so that i will be happy and not commit suicide. If one day, i decide to take away my life, be it a happy or unhappy day, i will do so. Like i've said, u are not the root. U are the final piece that puts my pathetic life together. U are the final piece to this jigsaw puzzle.

I know that being suicidal is something very foolish. But the least thing i wanna know is that i dont even have the courage to put an end to my misery. So its pointless if you or anybody else wanna talk me out of my suicidal thoughts. It wont work. Not even " value life, act responsibly". *laughs

Im saying all these not cause im sad. Ive a great day. Im not upset that u didnt meet me in the end, u needed rest cause u didnt have enough. Im saying all these, cause i myself dont know when will that day come.

So i will say as much as i can, while i still can. =)

I treasured all of you more than i have. I have done anything and everything to make u guys happy. Selfish i am, to wanna keep u guys by my side, cause u guys are all i had. IF any, ANY of you, is to leave, my life would be as miserable as him walking out on me.

U guys are no longer just my boyfriend or my good friends. U guys are part of me. A part of sharmain, a part of her life. And you especially, has been given more previledges den the rest. Cause yes, i have given u all of me. =)

This entry is not written to make anybody ( yes not even you ) feel bad, or guilty. Its meant to let u guys understand, how much all of you means to me. How much i cant bear to have any of you walking out on me.

I know im selfish. humans are selfish by nature. The fact that i have denied you guys the chance of walking out on me, and yet im suicidal and wanting to remove myself from your lives. Sorry.

I have been selfish, yet selfless.

oh my god, this entry is getting very emotional. and its too lengthy. And immelia is chasing me to finish it

I love you guys. ALL OF YOU.

but i love you the most. =)

sorry imms, no copyright today. CAuse im getting really lazy to put it down.

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